Wednesday, January 06, 2010
Saying Goodbye to My Beautiful Daisy
I did this layout on June 11, 2008. It's now hanging back up and brings us many tears and comfort today.
Spring of 2006 Daisy started with bad skin allergies. After a year of her having sores covering her from head to toe and going to specialists, she took a turn for the worst and was then diagnosed with the onset of kidney disease July 2007, but she responded to the fluids and thankfully hitting it very close to the 48 hours of no eating, began eating. Her bloodwork after was okay. She could still live a healthy life with 70% of her kidneys gone.
She is not an easy cat to treat. But after specialists, medications, and allergy shots, the sulphur baths finally cleared up her itching and biting. She lost a ton of weight from the kidney disease even though she had a very big appetite, which was great, but her body could not absorb any of what she was eating. As long as she was eating, drinking, pooping, and peeing, we promised each other we would not put her to sleep. Daisy had calico in her and was very prideful and stubborn.
She went through so many phases. She had a hard time finding the litter box sometimes. She was not herself anymore. She started peeing outside of the litter box and getting more Urinary tract infections. We reminded ourselves of our promise, so we closed her off in the dinning room. She started to lie in her litter box, but we kept up the fluids, lots of attention, and patience. We decided to do the fluids at the house to not cause her any more stress than she had to endure.
Then she wanted to go outside in the screened area, and would not come back in. We made her a place to sleep and keep warm when it got pretty cold out there.
October 2008, after going out of town and having a pet sitter, she all of a sudden wanted inside. She would go everywhere in the house except our bedroom which didn't make any sense, because she used to love to sleep with us. She was doing okay now in the house and knew where her litter box was and could make it there every time.
She started to get really bad diarrhea, really bad. She would sometimes miss the litter box or she couldn't make it there in time. We used benefiber in her food, but she caught on. We kept to our promise and did all we could for her to make her comfortable.
Before and after the time we adopted our daughter in July, Daisy was looking skinnier and weaker, but she still had so much life in her. And while we were gone, she went into another phase, she went into our bedroom and into my closet to sleep. When we got back, she would sleep with us again.
These last 5 months being home with a new baby and just the two of us made it difficult to spend time with our cats, but even worse with a sick geriatric cat. Emma and Daisy were both 24/7. We gave Daisy attention as much as we could, but it was never enough, not for her situation. She was always a very vocal cat and could wake us up from a deep sleep and was doing the same with Emma...which was making it stressful with just the two of us trying to catch our breath.
I would try to sit on the couch at night after Emma went to bed and spend some time with Daisy on my lap. On New Year's Eve, she was on my lap, and what was typical of something strange she would do since the kidney disease, is while asleep, her head would just all of a sudden drop and go limp. She did that again but was different, she kept falling and wasn't alert and then fell on the floor. It wasn't a long fall and she didn't hit hard, but she was very groggy coming too and it seemed like her back legs and hip were numb.
The doctor said the fall may not have been what caused Daisy to take another turn for the worst, because she was already so fragile. She weighed her this morning and she was only 6 pounds. A couple of days ago, she started to limp more and then started dragging her back legs, more the right side. Then yesterday, I noticed she would go use the litter box but no pee would come out. The vet had to empty Daisy's very full bladder. She said she could have a fractured hip, but with not being able to pee indicates it could be nerve damage.
The vet had always said since the time Daisy had the bad sores from the skin allergy, that if we did decide then to put her to sleep, it was not a wrong decision. She knew we did a lot, much more than most pet owners would do for Daisy. But this time she told Dennis that she would be there all day today or we could wait 24 hours to see if she can pee on her own. I knew from seeing how she could barely get around, could no longer jump at all, and now not able to completely empty her bladder, that we needed to now make the decision pet owners never want to have to make. Dennis had to go on to work and I stayed with Daisy, helping her up on the bathroom countertop to drink water from the faucet from time to time. She had such a hard time keeping her right leg under her hip while she was drinking from my hand. She tried several times to pee, a little did come out. When Emma took a nap, I laid a comforter on the floor and laid down next to Daisy, she purred the whole time, and would lift her head up when I'd get up. I spent as much time with Daisy as I could until Dennis got home and time for us to take her to the vet.
I have cried so much today. I miss my girl so much. I feel so empty without her here. Everywhere I look, I see her. She added so much to our lives for 15 years, loving us unconditionally, making us laugh, seeing her run to us when we'd get home, her little noises she would make, having her snuggle up with you, giving us her little love bites.
These are the words on the layout above that I had journaled back then...I'm so glad I wrote this down to comfort me now...
"I feel happy and sad when I look at Daisy in this picture. With her being sick and us coming close to putting her to sleep, it's moments like these that make it impossible to go through with it. How can you not love her. It just makes me cry with so many emotions of what she has been through and what we have done for her. I realize the day will come very soon when she will no longer be with us. But I know she will be at peace, and that we loved her enough to let her go."
We brought Daisy in for 5:30. We stayed with her until the very end.